Here are even more photos from Prince William and Duchess Kate’s royal hospital visit yesterday. I know many of you thought this dress was boring, but the more I see it, the more I like it. I hate some Kate’s style - I dislike when she wears old-lady lace, enormous buttons and Peter Pan collars, but I love the understated simplicity of this dress. Anyway, remember how I was once again calling Kate “hilariously lazy” just a few days ago? Some of you yelled at me and some of you agreed with me, all of which is fine, but I might have to eat s–t on this one. Just a little bit. Apparently, while Kate and Will were doing the rounds at the hospital, Kate was asked if she would make the Royal Marsden one of her charities. Which… is funny, because at this point, everybody is like, “Damn, can this chick do anything but shop and play with her hair? Shouldn’t a nearly-30-year-old woman have more going on?” But Kate’s response to the question was very, very interesting:

Yesterday the Duchess of Cambridge admitted that Prince William calls the shots in their marriage.

The Royal couple were opening the £18million Oak Centre for Children at London’s Royal Marsden Hospital when Kate was asked if she was planning to make the famous cancer hospital one of her charities.

Kate replied: “We’ll have to see - William’s in charge.”

During their visit, William and Kate spoke to several patients in the Teenage and Young Adult Chemotherapy Suite, and Kate promised to post a comment on the blog of nine-year-old Fabian Bate who is being treated for acute lymphoblastic leukaemia.

They are carrying on the work done by William’s mother, Princess Diana, who made her first solo visit to the hospital since 1982.

William has been President of the Royal Marsden since 2007 and he made it to the opening despite having just completed a 24-hour shift as a Search and Rescue pilot.

He admitted, “It was a bit of an early morning.”

[From AOL UK]

Hmm… so William’s “in charge”. In charge of everything? In charge of which charities she signs on to? In charge of her princess training? In charge of their image? I don’t know. But, looking at the whole “When is Kate ever going to become a working royal?” issue through the “Will is in charge” thing is interesting.

My take before was that Kate was out of her depth, and she was simply not used to working or having people expect things from her, and the palace was eager for Kate to begin her royal duties - perhaps even get her associated as a sponsor or patroness of a dozen charities before the year was out. And that’s starting small, believe me - truly working royals are often patrons of HUNDREDS of charities and organizations. Now I’m kind of wondering if William isn’t holding his wife back. Maybe he wants her to be a layabout, he wants her to (still) be at his beck and call, and he wants to “protect” her from royal duties. The problem I still have is that Kate is nearly 30 years old, and she’s basically a geisha, and she’s been a geisha most of her adult life. But that’s what Will wants, I guess.

Here’s some video of yesterday’s visit. I think Kate’s dress is prettier in motion (the cut is great), but in motion, Kate also looks even thinner. Like, when you see her size compared to the kids with cancer, it’s like, “Which one is supposed to be sick?”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I just can’t get over how completely odd and jacked Anna Faris’s face is looking these days. We discussed this last week, but I’m still disturbed. What is going on here? I think it’s a combination of Botox, lip injections, too-blonde hair, some weird eyebrow situation and bangs trauma. It’s terrible.

Anyway, Anna’s new film, What’s Your Number?, comes out this weekend. It doesn’t look very good - and the reviews aren’t great either (22% on Rotten Tomatoes). The movie is basically about a chick who has boned 20 guys and she decides to go back and re-examine all of her old lovers to see if any of them are her “soul mate”. To promote the film, Anna revealed her own “number”: FIVE. Six really, if you include her current husband Chris Pratt.

Anna Faris candidly revealed that she bedded a total of five guys before marrying her husband, “Moneyball” star Chris Pratt, in 2009.

“I’m at five,” the star said at a screening of “What’s Your Number?” “Don’t you think five is kind of low? I’m 34!” During a pre-screening interview Tuesday night with Marie Claire editor Joanna Coles, Faris added, “I’m not a very good lover. I’m so nervous about my sexuality.”

In the film, Faris plays an unlucky-in-love woman who frets she’ll never find Mr. Right after learning the average woman sleeps with 10.5 men before finding “the one,” and she’s bordering on 20.

“I think 20 is kind of low,” she told Coles. “Shouldn’t it be like 70?” Faris — who was recently hailed by Tad Friend in the New Yorker as the future of female comedy — also said that she doesn’t read reviews.

“I try not to read [them],” she said at the Joseph Urban Theatre. “The bad ones really cling. And I’m lucky that I’ve been part of a lot of poorly received movies, so I’m immune. ‘Scary Movie 4’ was a brilliant movie. I’m shocked it didn’t get nominated.”

[From Fox News]

I do think five is pretty low, but I’m not sure if I believe her, especially after her description of her “wild years” - the time right after she divorced her first husband. As for ladies and our “numbers” - I’m not going to reveal mine, but if you’d like to reveal yours, go ahead. I won’t judge or slut-shame. *quietly waiting to judge and slut-shame*

Photos courtesy of WENN.

At this point, I know that Pippa Middleton isn’t really going to “happen” for us here in America, but she’s still big news in the UK, and I’m still interested in her as a person/celebrity. I get that most of you actively dislike her, and think her “fame” is tenuous and undeserved. But we are a nation that has made the Kardashians famous and unbelievably wealthy, and some days I would just prefer to write about Pippa rather than the Kat-face Klan.

So these are photos of Pippa throughout this week. The photos of Pippa in the white dress are from Thursday, the beige tiered dress are from Wednesday, and the other outfit is from Monday or Tuesday. I believe that all of the photos are from Pippa “walking to work” - and I still think she’s working her “ex” George Percy, who she wants for a husband (just my opinion). Over the weekend, Pippa was at a friend’s wedding with her sister and with Alex Loudon, who is still hanging around, apparently oblivious to the fact that Pippa is trying to upgrade.

Don’t you like that on the same day that Pippa’s sister Kate wore cream to an official royal engagement, Pippa showed up on the streets of London in a shade of white as well? I often wonder about the behind-the-scenes sister stuff between the two of them. Yes, Kate “won” and Pippa will never be able to “compete” at Kate’s level… but I still feel like Pippa is still competitive with Kate about a lot of things. Too bad that Pippa makes clothes look really budget, and Kate makes clothes look expensive (unless it’s Issa, in which case Kate often looks cheap too). Plus, Pippa’s style is just so… rough. It’s not “old” but there’s something dated about it. She really just don’t know what flatters her athletic, boyish figure, I think.

In any case, I’m giving Pippa credit for being the Middleton with a job. Huzzah to Pippa!

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame.

The tabloids aren’t feasting on the Uncool Bermuda Triangle (Quadrangle?) this week, or maybe it just feels subdued because last week was such an all-out tabloid craze. So, I made a conscious decision to NOT write about the In Touch Weekly story which claimed that Brad Pitt offered Jennifer Aniston $1 million (to the charity of her choice) to pose for a photo with him and Angelina. I didn’t write about it because it didn’t happen.

But I do have some questions about whether this Star Mag story happened. Star actually spoke to a named source, Keith Middlebrook, who claims that he had some “deep” with Justin Theroux about ladies and drugs. My “sketchiness meter” just pinged, so I looked through our archives and I found out where I had heard the name “Keith Middlebrook” before - he was one of Linnocent’s “boyfriends” earlier this year, right after she got out of rehab (circa late March/early April of this year). He paid her bills, including a hotel room and her liquor tab, and he basically made it sound like he was her john. To be fair to Mr. Middlebrook, he actually has an IMDB page, and it looks like he is a working character actor (he was in Moneyball!). Anyway, who knows if this conversation actually took place, but it’s interesting:

Jennifer Aniston might think she’s found the man of her dreams in brooding actor-screenwriter Justin Theroux, but it turns out that his perfect woman is the very vixen Brad Pitt left her for - Angelina Jolie! Actor Keith Middlebrook befriended Justin on the set of Iron Man 2, the action flick written by Justin. Now Keith is exclusively revealing to Star their shocking conversation: “We talked about writing, women and drugs!”

Keith says: “My number one was Jennifer Aniston, and he raised his eyebrow, intrigued.”

But Justin’s pick for A-list fantasy woman is sure to be a shock for Jen: “He said Angelina Jolie. I laughed, saying the only fat she has is in her lips, and he quipped, ‘That’s the only place she needs it!’”

According to Middlebrook, Justin also opened up about then-girlfriend Heidi Bivens. Despite having dated Heidi for 12 years at that point, Justin refused to marry her. “Justin said, ‘Why ruin it?’”

Given Justin’s booming career and chiseled body, Middlebrook was stunned to learn of the shocking details of his new pal’s drug past. While word that Justin once battled drug abuse surfaced last month, “He told me about using powerful painkillers like Dilaudid, as well as mushrooms, ecstasy, cocaine, heroin, LSD and crack.”

Now, a friend is also revealing details of Justin’s alleged alcoholism.

“He was definitely a big drinker,” reveals the source. “Then no one heard from him for a year - then when I saw him, he told me he’d been in AA and getting used to being sober.”

Hopefully, Justin has since changed his preference in women - and is still on the straight and narrow.

“He was the last person you’d suspect to be doing those hard drugs. I thought he was lying about his drug use,” said Middlebrook. “He was just too clean, too together - a really solid guy.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Obviously, the Angelina Jolie thing is the soundbyte, but I find the drug and alcohol thing much more interesting. At this point, my take on Aniston is that she’s a boozehound, and she likely dabbles in other stuff too, from pot to coke (just my opinion). She’s pretty good at “maintaining” (except for the odd liquor-soaked public appearance), and she’s no Linnocent. Aniston isn’t out in clubs, making an ass out of herself. She’s sitting at home with a margarita and a blunt. But if Justin is Mr. Clean Living and Sobriety - and he became clean and sober only recently - I have to wonder if the difference in their extracurriculars isn’t going to be the biggest deal breaker for their relationship.

Meanwhile, Page Six reports this morning that someone (cough) isn’t buying Aniston and Justin’s relationship. Allegedly? Apparently. Someone thinks Justin is literally made of baloney.

Jennifer Aniston’s neighbors are snickering about a prankster who left a blanket of bologna meat on top of her boyfriend Justin Theroux’s BMW motorcycle early yesterday morning as it was parked outside of the actress’ West 12th Street apartment.

A neighbor walking a dog early in the morning spotted up to 25 slices of “what clearly was bologna” stuck to the seat, the wheels, handlebars, muffler and engine at about 8 a.m. yesterday morning. But shortly after, the bike was cleaned off.

While the identity of the prankster remains a mystery, “I got the impression it was some weird message, like, ‘You’re full of bologna,’ ” the neighbor told us. “The bike was in otherwise in fine condition.”

Aniston and Theroux, who met on the set of their movie “Wanderlust,” moved into a Hollywood pad in August. But they have recently been spending time at the West Village apartment she bought in May, combining two apartments on different floors to create a 2,700-square-foot duplex.

Neighbors say Theroux’s bike has been parked outside Aniston’s apartment almost every day this week, and the pair have been repeatedly seen strolling around the city. The happy couple have attracted a lot of attention from photographers, causing a commotion which has unsettled some locals.

Aniston’s rep said, “There are paparazzi outside their apartment 24/7. Don’t you think they would have photographed the person doing it, if indeed this actually happened, which I do not know for sure.”

[From Page Six]

Are the paparazzi there even in the middle of the night? Weird. Whatever, it sounds like a harmless (although funny) prank. *side-eye at Heidi Bivens*

Here are some new photos of Justin and Jennifer last night:

More photos:

Photos courtesy of Fame and Terry Richardson‘s blog.

Jesus, it’s really dead around the gossip world today. Thus, I’m covering these new candid photos of Sarah Jessica Parker in NYC yesterday. Sidenote: do you think every outlet is just waiting for Demi and Ashton to confirm their split? Perhaps. Back on topic: SJP in leather capris. Some people are saying the jacket is leather too, but upon examination, I’m pretty sure it’s cloth. I think these leather capris might be one of the worst things I’ve ever seen, especially considering they are for a “casual” look. “Casual” to me implies “comfort”. Do these look comfortable? You’re going to wear leather capris for comfort? And the cut is pretty bad too - they look like they were made from leather scraps, and of course, leather pants are “baggy” on SJP.

As we talked about last week, SJP is still recovering from the massive box office failure of I Don’t Know How She Does It. It was a starring vehicle for SJP, although the studio tried to bill it as an ensemble when they realized that Sarah Jessica wasn’t a good enough reason for women to see the film. I wonder if various Hollywood players are sitting down and re-examining the SJP phenomenon and asking themselves, “Has she ever really been a lead actress?” The answer is no, she hasn’t. She came close in television, but she still had the benefit of an ensemble to carry her (although she often took credit as lead and executive producer on SATC). But for films - no, she’s never been a competent and watchable lead actress. Thankfully, her next film is New Year’s Eve - where she has only a small, supporting part in a large ensemble. That’s where she belongs, honestly.

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame.

Throughout the week, we’ve been keeping tabs on Linnocent’s “boyfriend” situation. As soon as she got to Milan to work as a “model” for Philipp Plein, she and Philipp began looking extra friendly, and they were photographed hand-in-hand and all cuddled up. Some of you think he’s gay. I disagree. I think he’s straight, and he’s a Euro-cheeseball who wants to make a name for himself as an international player by “romancing” Linnocent. It’s his money, so whatever. Allegedly, Lohan’s getting $500,000 to model and “date” him. And then on Wednesday night, Linnocent showed up in Paris, looking like an escort and once again, walking hand-in-hand with a sketchy Euro dude, this time a “businessman” and club owner.

If all of this seems like the whirlwind, jet-set activities of an international call girl on the run, ding ding ding, you win the door prize. Linnocent was likely “escaping” a situation in New York City, where it seemed like her long-time john/boyfriend/lover Vikram Chatawal was attempting to put their arrangement on the backburner. Page Six reported last week that Vikram’s (admittedly estranged) wife came into town, and was upset to see a crackie escort living in her home (Vikram had installed Linnocent in his apartment). Anyway, Star Magazine has some interesting details about Vikram and Linnocent’s relationship, including Linnocent’s alleged claims to friends that she is NOT in fact an escort.

Lindsay Lohan is living the life of a lucky girl in love - with millionaire hotelier Vikram Chatawal spoiling her rotten with swanky dinners, putting her up in his posh apartment and whisking her off on pricey getaways.

“She treats him like her suger daddy, and everyone knows it!” reveals an insider. But the actress claims to friends, “I’m not a call girl!”

As pals question all the over-the-top pampering, Lindsay says they’re not lovers. “Lindsay is telling everyone who will listen that she and Vikram are only close friends,” an insider tells Star. “Nobody is listening to her!”

But for a friendship, Lindsay sure is reaping a lot of benefits. The actress has been plagued by financial woes and legal troubles recently - and now she has Vikram to foot the bill. He has even gone so far as to send [Lindsay] off with his credit cards for a New York City shopping spree.

While the actress’ rep also denies any romance between the two, insiders continue to insist otherwise…

“Lindsay’s been hooking up with Vikram for months, and they have a mutually beneficial relationship,” the insider adds. And for the troubled star, the timing couldn’t be better.

“As her career and star power disintegrate and her bank account diminishes, Lindsay needs a man like Vikram in her life to be happy!” the insider quips. “She should just admit it.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

In case you need to see the photos of Linnocent bending over, doing some lines and then making out with Vikram in his apartment, go here to The Superficial. I think they speak for themselves, but I always enjoy a good crack delusion story. I mean, of course Linnocent and Vikram are “just friends”. I always invite my “friends” into my home, ply them with coke and liquor, have sex with them and then give them my credit card to go on a shopping spree. Doesn’t everyone treat their “friends” like that?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

When we were recapping the Emmys, I wrote about Melissa McCarthy’s surprise Emmy win for Mike & Molly (which was probably more for her scene-stealing performance in Bridesmaids), and I said at the end that you guys shouldn’t go all crazy by making lots of unnecessary comments about her weight. That was just a personal desire of mine - I didn’t want to cull through dozens of comments like “she’s so fat” and “I hate her because she’s fat.” Yes, she’s heavy. I know that. She knows that. You know that. Everyone is aware. She’s also really funny and talented and she’s having a great career break right now, and I’m really happy for her. I just get tired of debating celebrities’ thinness. Can we just accept that she’s heavy and move on to the other stuff about her? With that in mind, Melissa covers the new issue of The Hollywood Reporter - you can read the full article here, and here are some highlights:

She’s launching a plus-sized clothing line: McCarthy is using her raised profile to launch a line for other plus-size women. “Trying to find stuff that’s still fashion-forward in my size is damn near impossible. It’s either for like a 98-year-old woman or a 14-year-old hooker, and there is nothing in the middle,” she laughs, recalling her recent struggles to find a dress for the Emmys. After combing through “9 million dresses with taffeta or shiny bows,” she opted to channel her teenage passion to become a fashion designer and design her own Emmy gown (with couture dressmaker Daniella Pearl.)

Motherhood changed her perception of herself: She has been less bothered by criticism of her physical appearance since becoming a mother to daughters Vivian, 4 — who has been parading around for days with her mother’s Emmy tiara — and Georgette, 1 1/2. “The stupid stuff like what I wear or how I look I can’t control, so I just try not to give too much energy to it,” she continues, noting later that after having her second child, her body is a work in progress. “At 20, I would have been like: ‘Don’t they like me? Was it my hair?’ At 41, I think the things that define me, I hope, are a lot more than those kinds of petty things.”

Future projects: She and her actor husband Ben Falcone recently sold a multicamera TV comedy project to CBS about a woman having a midlife crisis, and she’s co-writing a movie with Bridesmaids writer Annie Mumolo for Paramount, which will star McCarthy as the mastermind of a plan to hijack the Stanley Cup in order to cheer up her sick husband. She’s also in negotiations to star opposite Jason Bateman in the movie Identity Thief, while Bridesmaids producer Judd Apatow cast her in his untitled Knocked Up spinoff and Bridesmaids director Paul Feig has set up his movie Dumb Jock to feature her as the star. “She’s really one of my new heroes,” Feig says of McCarthy. “I’ll do anything to keep working with her. When you find someone like her, you don’t let them go.”

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

I wish Sofia Vergara and Christina Hendricks would start a clothing line aimed at designing flattering tops for the large-breasted ladies amongst us (coughmecough). As for Melissa’s plus-sized line… maybe the stuff will be cute. You never know. In my experience, the simpler the item you want, the harder it is to find. You want a simple, loose, black peasant top for the heavy-breasted amongst us, with no sparkles or embellishments or lace accoutrements? Good luck with that. I’ve been trying to find it for years. It’s my white whale.

Oh, and Melissa is hosting SNL this weekend. Will you watch? I hope she’s really, really good.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Now that I’ve covered Adele this morning, the rest of the day is going to be a total bust. I can’t even work up the energy to care about this new LeAnn Rimes interview. LeAnn is still promoting her new album (which is nothing like Adele’s), and she’s still full of delusion and narcissism (unlike Adele), and it’s boring (unlike Adele). LeAnn tells Country Weekly Magazine that she’s thinking about babies - surprisingly, however, she makes it sound like getting knocked up is still far away.

LeAnn Rimes dropped the bombshell news that even though she’s “enjoying every minute” of being a stepmom she wants to have a baby of her own with her husband Eddie Cibrian!

“They are awesome,” she said about her two stepsons. “And it does make me want to have a child eventually. I enjoy being a stepmom and I’d really love to have a child of our own, but we’ll see,” the singer/actress told Country Weekly magazine.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, LeAnn took to her blog recently to say that she doesn’t consider herself a stepmom but just a mom.

“In our house, in our family, we remove the ’step.’ We really are all… simply family,” the 29-year-old songbird wrote. “Eddie’s sons, I treat as if they are my own.

“Step. Stepmother, Stepfather, Stepchildren — the word ’step’ can take on such a connotation to so many in our society,” she said. “A family is a family. In my eyes. There’s no ’step’ about it.”

In the Country Weekly interview, LeAnn described her family dynamic. “We have two right now that are 100 percent taking plenty of time up and it’s definitely a learning experience for me, never having been around kids and having kids. They are our number-one priority and that’s been a totally new thing for me. It’s good, but a totally new experience for me. I’m enjoying every minute of it. I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy it.”

So maybe we should be on the watch for a LeAnn Rimes baby bump!

[From Radar]

I wonder… why is LeAnn not all about having Eddie’s babies? I’m not saying every woman has to be all about babies, etc, caveat, etc. I’m saying that it’s odd to me that LeAnn is super-loved-up with the man that she finally “won” and you would think that she would want to mark her territory further by having Eddie‘s baby immediately. Plus, she would want to Single White Female Brandi some more - Brandi had two of Eddie’s babies, after all. LeAnn must copy or outdo her. Also, if LeAnn got knocked up, wouldn’t she be more sympathetic as a person? I think so. People love babies.

So why isn’t LeAnn all over it? Is a body image thing? She just got her perfect bony body and she doesn’t want to gain the weight? Is it about her career? Because she doesn’t have much a career at this point. Or is it because she worries that Eddie will dump her if she focuses on something else for a change? Poor LeAnn… it’s hard to imagine what it’s like in the center of that crazy.

Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

This is really not what I needed this morning. Yes, I love Adele. I think she’s gorgeous and amazing talented and I want her as my girlfriend. But I didn’t need to sit here, first thing in the morning, in a puddle of tears after watching Adele’s new music video for “Someone Like You”. Now… this is the song. Everybody loved her first single and music video from 21, “Rolling in the Deep”. That’s the song that got the ball rolling on this album, which has become an international success story and game-changer for the music industry. But in appearance after appearance on almost every music awards show, Adele has been performing “Someone Like You”. It’s the broken-heart/lost-love song that will stand the test of time, and g-ddamn if it doesn’t make me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear it. Sigh… here’s the new music video:

My God, she’s pretty. That face! She’s beautiful. The video was shot in nearly one long, continuous take in Paris, and I’m so thankful that Adele isn’t one of those pop artists obsessed with jump-cuts and costume changes and all of the pop-star accoutrements that come with someone trying to pretend they don’t really need a good voice. That being said, I LOVE the coat Adele is wearing. Very flattering.

Here’s a different video of the same song - it’s Adele recording the song live in her home. GAH. I love her so much.

Oh, and this is the performance of “Someone Like You” at this year’s Brit Awards. This was the game-changing performance.

Okay, I’m just going to sit here in a puddle of tears. *sob*

Photos courtesy of WENN and Vogue UK.

Ever since we heard that Ryan Gosling took Eva Mendes to his special place - his pants AND Disneyland - I’ve sort of been ignoring them as a couple. From what I can see, they are still together and they’re keeping it pretty low-key. Some of you think the pairing is hot - I don’t. I mean, I definitely understand how Ryan Gosling + ANYBODY is going to be hot, and yes, I understand how Eva has sex appeal and she has a bangin’ body. But she also has permanent drunk-face and I have concerns that she actually IS drunk most of the time. Plus, at the end of the day, what do Ryan and Eva have to talk about? How much difficulty she has with everyone always telling her that she’s sexy? That’s all she ever talks about in interviews.

Anyway, In Touch had a nice little story about Eva and Ryan… apparently, he’s a Feeder. Sigh… he really is the perfect man.

Shakespeare claimed music was the food of love, but Ryan Gosling isn’t taking any chances. The Drive actor has gifted his new love, Eva Mendes, 37, with free food - for life - in the form of a VIP card for Tagine, the Moroccan restaurant that he co-owns.

“Eva and Ryan are both foodies, so he surprised her with the unlimited gift certificate,” a friend of the actor tells In Touch.

“He’s looking for something permanent, and he’s hoping that he has found it with Eva. She’s everything he wants.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

I don’t buy that he’s “looking for something permanent” - I think he’s looking for a relationship, maybe, but he’s also enjoying the single life. He just doesn’t want to admit that he’s a Gerard Butler-style pick-up artist. He’s sensitive! He takes girls to Disneyland! NO. He’s still more Butler than boyfriend-material. Also, “She’s everything he wants.” Puh-lease.

Photos courtesy of WENN and Fame.