The best fight at the U.S. Open EVER. [Dlisted]
Emma Watson says Twilight is “selling sex” - unlike Harry Potter, which is just selling reading, chastity and ZOMG WITCHCRAFT. [Celebuzz]
Stephen Moyer is auctioning off his dong sock. [PopBytes]
Keanu Reeves on his birthday, looking cute. [LaineyGossip]
Famous whore Rachel Uchitel just bought a $2 million NYC apartment. [LimeLife]
Bar Refaeli slams 15-year-old starving models. [Celebslam]
Read this & tell me: is Jessica Alba being a bitch to Michelle Rodriguez? [A Socialite Life]
Virginity billboards (as part of film promotion) piss off locals. [Agent Bedhead]
Cheryl Cole/Tweedy is now officially single. [The Blemish]
Oksana Grigorieva allegedly wants more child support. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Jessica Alba pulls out all of the stops to promote Machete. [Pop Sugar]
Bedhead‘s career assessment of Kiefer Sutherland. [Pajiba]
Am I the only one trying to read Karissa Shannon‘s panties? [I Don’t Like You In That Way]
Katy Perry stops jacking from Betty Page, gets pretty highlights. [Evil Beet]
These Posh Beckham photos are really weird. Her head looks strange. [INFDaily]
Jennifer Lopez is “the key to reenergizing American Idol.” Hm. [Crazy Days and Nights]

Speaking of the U.S. Open, a little Federer:

This week I was at a loss for a dude to start out Hot Guy journey. I just hadn’t thought about it - usually, I like to start with a headliner that everyone can agree on. So this week’s headliner for HGF is my beloved Robert Redford. I’m doing him vintage too, because though I still have love for the current, un-butchered, old as dirt Robert Redford, the man looks rough (bless his heart). And he was so, so beautiful when he was younger. Sigh… this is like Americana porn.

And since we had Sundance, how about Butch Cassidy? A little vintage Paul Newman love:

I like Gael Garcia Bernal quite a bit - he’s got an other-worldly beauty, but also a down-to-earth goofiness. He’s short, though. He’s very tiny. Pocket rocket porn.

Since we seem to be doing a theme of famous costars (Note: I’m not going to stick with that theme), how about Bernal’s Y Tu Mama Tambien costar and close friend, Diego Luna? I actually find Diego to be even more adorable - he’s more accessible to me. Plus, he’s like the Latin James McAvoy. Right?

Keanu Reeves is a classic that I often forget. He’s so lovely, though. I used to be addicted to his beauty, but I’ve overcome it. I might be relapsing though. It was his birthday yesterday too! Lovely Virgos.

Do you know how hard it is to find a nice photo of Denzel Washington where he doesn’t look grumpy as hell? He photographs very grumpy, I’ve never noticed that. But here are some nice ones:

Very few agencies got photos of Hugh Laurie at the Emmys, so he was not included in our Emmy wrap-up. That was unfortunate, because I get totally hot for Hugh Laurie. He’s lovely and brooding and sexy and smart.

I always confuse Chris Pine with Chris Evans - I know you girls have requested Pine heavily, but I put Evans on instead. In my defense, Chris Evans is way cooler. Pine seems like a douche. A cute douche with pretty eyes, but a douche nonetheless.

Imagine my absolute SHOCK when I finally saw Dylan Moran. This is the potato-faced dude everyone has been raving about? Really? HIM? And some of you have the audacity to criticize my darling Gerard Butler. *side-eye at Mairead*

Aldis Hodge, otherwise known as the hot nerdy guy on Leverage. He’s pretty cute.

I don’t think we’ve ever done Michael Vartan, which is a shame. He’s lovely.

I would almost say that Zachary Quinto has serial killer eyes, a la Kellan Lutz. But where Kellan’s eyes are just dumb and scary, Quinto actually seems to have some depth. I don’t like this crew cut though:

He’s much better with hair:

James Marsden, by request. I didn’t find him hot or anything in the X-Men movies, but I hesitantly admit that he was kind of adorable in that dumb Katherine Heigl movie, 27 Dresses. It was a bad movie - but he was cute. Very pretty eyes, yes?

Gary Oldman, by request. He doesn’t do it for me, but I understand why he does it for you. The voice, the sinewy moves, the talent. I get it. You know who kind of reminds me of Oldman? Sam Rockwell. I should add him next.

Sam Rockwell. See? Sam could be Oldman’s son. Younger brother? No, his son. There’s definitely a father-son resemblance happening.

Shemar Moore is rather adorable, isn’t he?

Here’s everybody’s pretend boyfriend Nathan Fillion. I have to admit, I watch Castle. It’s a solid show, and he’s absolutely charming on it. I thought Richard Castle was going to be a big a–hole, but he’s a very sweetly drawn a–hole, and Nathan plays him with such lightness and heart. I’m kind of in love with him now.

Speaking of my boyfriends, I find Mark Harmon to be just as classic as Paul Newman. No joke - I’ve been in love with Mark Harmon for two decades. I even clearly remember being in love with him when he did that show with Marlee Matlin. Remember that? Sigh… silver fox. I’m giving you old-school and current, just because I think he looks just as sexy with his silver hair.

Harry Connick Jr. doesn’t get enough credit for being a really nice guy, a stable family man and a talented musician and actor. I love him.

Timothy Olyphant - seriously cute with hair. He’s like the much hotter, sexier version of Josh Duhamel.

James Purefoy, by request. I have no idea who he is or what he does. Very cute, though. Rugged, even. Dashing. Naughty. Okay, I have to look him up.

Lee Pace, by request. Very cute. I’ve only really seen him in Miss Petegrew Lives For A Day, and he was lovely in that.

Before you yell at me, just acknowledge that it was your fellow Celebitches who suggested Sam Elliott. This is not my choice.

Yes, David Boreanaz f-cked Rachel Uchitel, and it was a mess. But don’t let that destroy your long-standing crush on the man.

Call me crazy, but I still have a lot of love for Morris Chestnut.

A little love for Canadians and the Germans who love Canadians. Joshua Jackson is adorable.

I love Morris Chestnut. I don’t care what you think. He’s fine.

I don’t get the Jim Sturgess thing, I hoenstly don’t. Is it the accent? Because the accent isn’t enough to make up for the fact that he looks like he cries after an orgasm.

My Hamm.

Oh, Clive. Don’t ever f-cking change.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Bauer-Griffin, Vanity Fair, GQ, Details, Esquire, Parade and Google Images.

Sofia Coppola has a new film called Somewhere that is currently premiering at the Venice Film Festival. It stars Stephen “I Coulda Been Something” Dorff and Dakota Fanning’s little sister Elle as father and daughter. I admit that I know who Elle is because she guest starred on a really good and really disturbing episode of Law & Order: SVU. She was the little girl who started a fire to get her new mommy to love her, remember? Terrifying. Anyway, she used to be so, so tiny and now she’s all long and coltish and so pretty! But you can tell this isn’t some fame-hungry “child performer.” Much like Dakota, Elle doesn’t seem to be totally down with “celebrity.” Look at her face - that’s the face of a young girl who is having fun having her picture taken, because it doesn’t happen that often. That is not the face of a Lohan, you know? And she seems sweetly awkward, yet she has a poise that comes from not being coached into self-consciousness. She’s wearing Doc Martens too.

And is it just me or does Stephen Dorff still have… something? I don’t know… I feel weird admitting that I find him hot.

But he is hot, isn’t he? Remember when it was Dorff and Christian Slater and both of them were supposed to become, like, the next Jack Nicholson? And neither of them did. But it’s nice that Dorff is still getting work.

As for Sofia’s movie… well… um… try not to cry at the trailer, okay? Because I welled up, and now I feel extremely guilty. Also: Benicio del Toro is in it, although he’s not in the trailer.

‘Somewhere’ photo call, Venice, Sept. 3, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Have I ever mentioned that I love you loony bitches? True, the Brangelina-Aniston Bermuda Triangle stuff gets the most play generally, but some of you are completely crazy for other celebrities, to the point of stalker-fabulousness. Note: I’m not glamorizing stalking, I just admire someone who feels the same way about a celebrity that I feel about, say, Gerard Butler. Which is to say, I need to know Gerard’s whereabouts and the daily state of his scruff. Anyway, a very nice commenter and reader named Sunshine sent in this beautifully transcribed Us Weekly piece about Alexander Skarsgard and Kate Bosworth. Reports early this week - from Sweden - had some of us believing that Kate had dumped Alex because she was tired of waiting around for him and she wanted him to put a ring on it. Now Us Weekly is claiming that Kate and Alex are still together, but that she might be cheating on him:

True Betrayal? Kate Bosworth may be dating True Blood’s Alexander Skarsgard, 34, but a source close to the actress, 27, says she recently turned up the heat with a former flame!

In August, while home in Massachussetts visiting her family, “Kate made out with her high school boyfriend,” says a pal.

The catalyst? News that her ex Orlando Bloom had married-and was having a baby with-Miranda Kerr.

“She was feeling down,” an insider explains. “Her high school ex is comfortable. And he’s still smitten with her.”

Bosworth’s rep responds, “This is untrue. She is good friends with her high school boyfriend.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Hm… so Bosworth’s rep responded? Of course he/she did. What else does the rep have to do all day? It’s not like Bosworth is some in-demand actress with tons of film press to do. She’s just a professional girlfriend at this point, and a pretty lousy one at that, considering everybody thinks there’s dumb drama in her relationship and she’s the one f-cking it up. You know what’s funny though? Now all of you Skars-loonies know exactly what the Orly Bloom-loonies went through. You girls should get together for Hating Bosworth convention.

But I should let Sunshine let her loony flag fly:

I think this gives more credibility on why she dumped Alex. Once he found out, he was sure to dump her as he has stated in past interviews he can’t tolerate cheaters. It also puts a new light on their blowout screamfest at the Way Out West concert in which witnesses reported hearing her scream “Go F*ck yourself” to Alex. I didn’t think this girl could be any more hated but once Alex’s hardcore fans, especially the ones who felt he never should have gotten mixed up with her in the first place, get wind of this, they’ll be screaming for her bony head on a platter. (Figuratively speaking of course). Since she has a known track record for cheating, this story is not a surprise.

I love you, Sunshine! Here are some hot pics of Alex to make it all better:

AS photos courtesy of his fansite.

Remember the months and months of horrible douchebaggery between Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno and NBC? Recap: when Conan O’Brien took over The Tonight Show, his ratings kind of sucked (they just weren’t as good as Leno’s, back in the day), so NBC jury-rigged a scheme to get Leno back at the Tonight Show, effectively cancelling his horrible 10 p.m. weeknight show (which also sucked in the ratings). Chaos ensued. In the end, Conan went to TBS, Leno went back to Tonight, and Jimmy Fallon is now Leno’s “successor”. Weird.

Anyway, the whole thing started because NBC was terrified of their sucky ratings for both 10 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. Local NBC affiliates were complaining, and something had to be done, for sure. But the solution might have been worse than the problem, because now Leno is tanking… kind of.

NBC might have summer’s most-watched show in “America’s Got Talent,” but the network’s late-night ratings aren’t so sunny. “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” is pulling a smaller number in the advertiser-coveted adults 18-49 demographic than when Conan O’Brien hosted the show last year.

In fact, this summer is the lowest-rated “Tonight” on record, though such feats have become increasingly common on broadcast across the board.

Since the end of the broadcast season, Leno is averaging 3.8 million viewers and a 1.0 adults 18-49 rating. That’s a 12% improvement in total audience compared with O’Brien, though off 23% in the demo and down in both measurements compared with Leno’s performance two years ago. His percentages greatly improve if comparisons begin a few weeks deeper into the summer so “Tonight” is not facing O’Brien’s opening weeks hosting the show, though O’Brien is tops in the demo either way.

Even with the reduced rating, Leno is back to beating his top rival, CBS’ “Late Show With David Letterman,” by a healthy 22% in both metrics. CBS touts that Letterman’s ratings are at least holding steady compared with last summer, when Letterman hit an all-time low of his own. Other late-night hosts have been showing stability too, with NBC’s “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon,” CBS’ “The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” and ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” maintaining their demo averages, and Fallon and Kimmel even sporting gains in total viewers.

Heading into the fall, NBC’s affiliates say that, if anything, they’re pleased about the schedule in general and late-night in particular. Last year, stations contended with the expected ratings decline of putting Leno at 10 p.m. and the uncertainty of O’Brien hosting “Tonight.”

Station managers are looking forward to having scripted dramas back in late primetime, which in turn should fuel audience momentum into late-night. There’s an expectation that it’s nearly impossible not to have a better story to tell advertisers in the fall, especially with NBC stocking up on dramas like high-concept series “The Event” and shows from top-shelf producers Dick Wolf (”Law & Order: Los Angeles”), Jerry Bruckheimer (”Chase”) and J.J. Abrams (”Undercovers”).

“There’s been a lot of NBC stations that have suffered significant declines in late prime, and that’s not going to happen with this lineup based on the estimates buyers are getting,” said Eric Lassberg, president and GM of NBC affiliate KXAN-TV Austin. “All evidence points to our ratings going up [at 10 p.m.].”

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

So, Leno is back to beating Letterman (sad), but Leno (and NBC) loses in the end because they aren’t picking up any viewers under the age of 50 years old - you know, all of those viewers who might actually want to buy some of stuff being advertised during those all-important commercial breaks. NBC might get bragging rights for beating Letterman, but advertisers are going to be pulling out by the end of the year if Leno doesn’t get a viewership that’s anything less than geriatric.

Basically, Leno still sucks and it’s okay to still hate him.

Oh, and you know what Conan is up to? He just announced the name of his new TBS show - “Conan”.

Leno on August 5, 2010. Credit: WENN.

LeAnn Rimes’ birthday was a few days ago, and she spent it being pap’d in a bikini with her man, Eddie Cibrian (see the nauseating photos of LeAnn straddling Eddie here). She also spent it being a smug bitch - she tweeted some sh-t about all of the presents Eddie had given her, with what money no one knows. He’s not working, so my guess is that much like a parent would do for a child, LeAnn bought her own presents and let Eddie “give” them to her for her birthday. And then she tweeted about it, smugly. And that’s the jumping off point for this hilarious story from The Homewrecker Files:

LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian’s latest PDA -fest during a trip to Mexico has sparked another Twitter war between the couple and Eddie’s ex, Brandi Glanville.

“LeAnn is so public with their relationship, it seems like they don’t remember it began as an affair when they were both married!” an insider tells In Touch.

On August 29, LeAnn tweeted: “Beautiful rose gold and diamond bangles and a cool Chrome Hearts travel jewelry bag. He’s always so thoughtful.”

Brandi - who says she hasn’t received any child support from Eddie since he was fired from CSI: Miami - shot back: “My ‘husband’ who vacations non-stop, and has an assistant yet no job, can’t afford to keep out 3 yr old in his pre-school… priorities.”

An insider says: “It’s gotten obnoxious, the amount LeAnn posts about Eddie’s kids and how great their life is together. Brandi gets hurt by it, of course. But she also finds it funny that LeAnn stops to tweet about everything they do instead of just enjoying it.”

And LeAnn‘s ex-husband Dean Sheremet is bothered too. “Dean is so calm, but he even gets turned off by how public she makes their relationship. He will forward her most ridiculous tweets to his friends and make fun of her.”

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition]

Honestly, if I was Brandi, I would be more upset by the whole “no child support” thing rather than the “LeAnn can’t take a dump without tweeting about it for a whole day” thing. Of course LeAnn is inappropriate. She stalked Eddie and now he is all hers. She’s crazy and tragic and funny (to laugh at) and she’s totally and completely over the top with the Twitter-displays of her “love.” But seriously, Brandi buried the lead - how is Eddie paying for all of these presents for LeAnn if he’s can’t/won’t pay child support? Unless my theory is correct, which is that LeAnn is paying for everything, including her own birthday presents.

LeAnn and Eddie on July 28, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Kate Hudson’s ex-husband and Black Crows lead singer Chris Robinson has some thoughts about Taylor Swift in a new interview with Nylon Guys. He thinks she sucks, basically. Chris is kind of coming across like a grumpy old dude who doesn’t care for these young whippersnappers on the MTV box, but I will allow that he has some semblance of a point. Chris is basically saying that Taylor Swift is an artist for kids - and after all, he’s kind of right. She sings about middle school and ponies, right? But even though I’ll give Chris his point, I still wish people would stop climbing all over Taylor. For no reason, really - she’s not hurting anybody.

Grumpy rocker Chris Robinson has become the latest star to attack country sweetheart Taylor Swift - almost a year after Kanye West ruined her big night at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards by protesting her first-ever win at the event.

Unprovoked, the Black Crowes frontman has taken issue with Swift over claims she’s one of the most talented singers in the industry today. He’s not a fan.

Robinson tells Nylon Guys magazine, “I find it embarrassing that adults are like, ‘Taylor Swift is very talented.’ She’s not. She might be cute, but she’s horrible.”

The rocker insists there are very few modern artists he enjoys listening to because most acts are little more than products of a computer.

He explains, “They have stylists who dress them, they make records with producers who play a chord into the computer and it all comes out the same… When you have computers doing it all for you… there’s no individuality. Singing isn’t always about being on key; it’s about emotionality (sic).”

[From Starpulse]

I wouldn’t call her “horrible.” She’s just a kid. Ish. She’s like 20 years old, right? And she writes her own songs and she plays instruments and kids really like her and her overwhelming message to young girls is “It’s okay to be weird or strange or different, you’re still cool.” I find her sweet and harmless, especially compared to the other pop stars out there. Chris should find someone else to pick on. Hint: Miley.

Chris Robinson in 2009, Taylor Swift at the CMTs on June 2010. Credit: WENN.

Julia Roberts sat down for a pretty decent interview with The Telegraph (UK), to promote Eat, Pray, Love. As of this very moment, I have only been able to get through half of the piece because I’m stuck on this one quote: “It was an endeavor that took me away from my home life so I was proud that that passion was still vibrant in me.” Yes, Julia is farting about her own vibrancy. And she’s saying that making Eat, Pray, Love reaffirmed her own vibrant passion. Are you rolling your eyes yet? Oh, you’ve got to love Julia. The full Telegraph piece is here, and here are some highlights:

On her free time: “I don’t have the luxury of sitting around any more,” she says. “I must have had bags of spare time before I had children but I don’t know what I did with it and I didn’t appreciate it. But it’s such a terrific trade-off – I don’t have time to get a pedicure but I sure am happy. Who cares if your feet look bad?”

On her family life: “Of course my life has changed and I don’t work a lot, so I get a lot of that special time for us to just nurture and cultivate our everyday life and the things we take enjoyment in. But I was never really one to work too much, anyway. I never really did years of movie after movie after movie.”

On her “commitment” to Eat, Pray, Love: “For me to make that personal commitment to do that much work and travel to all those places, not alone but with 150 crew and my whole family, really shows how much I still love what I do… It was an endeavour that took me away from my home life so I was proud that that passion was still vibrant in me. The scope is so massive that it was more work than I would normally want to be doing but I was excited about trying to portray my character’s real passion for her life, and for the people in it and for the places she goes to. When it was finished I was really exhausted but I loved every second of it.”

Relating to the spiritual journey: “I can certainly relate to what she has gone through and there are things in the movie which everybody can relate to: trying to clarify your life and understand your own compass for where you want to go and who you want to be. These are things we all go through and I think you sort of fine tune it every decade of your life: in your twenties, then in your thirties, and then you redefine it again in your forties and fifties.”

Needing to hit the “reset” button: “I used to take off on a vacation every year by myself as sort of a reset button to sit and evaluate what had gone by, to read a great book, maybe get a sun tan and, you know, just collect myself. It’s important to do that. You don’t necessarily have to travel, but just take the time for yourself to exhale.”

On doing Broadway: “That’s a hard place to be, on stage eight times a week. It’s relentless, but it’s also magical and amazing. I would absolutely do it again, for sure.”

On her own spirituality: “You never stop pursuing greater understanding of yourself and the world, and how you relate to people and how people relate to you. That has to keep moving. It’s a definite aspect of my family life and more than anything else, a constant sense of gratitude is really the spiritual foundation of my daily life. I’m so grateful for everything… my family, all the opportunities I’ve had, the enriching relationships. Just everything.”

[From The Telegraph]

So she didn’t come across like a sanctimonious bitch in this interview, which is kind of disappointing. I prefer Julia when she’s being a bitch, honestly. She’s more fun! I dislike the Oprahified Julia where she’s farting about spirituality this and vibrancy that. BORING. You know that’s just what she says to pass the time before she bitches someone out. THAT’S SO TACKY.

header: Julia on August 10, 2010. Credit: WENN.

Jesus Luz really doesn’t look bad at all, does he? He’s not really my type in general, but I like that he looks toned and strong, but he doesn’t go overboard. Of course, it’s kind of easy for a 23 (24?) year old to have a nice body. And this isn’t the first time I’ve seen him shirtless - or even naked (NSFW pic here). But I haven’t seen his naked junk in a while, and I like to keep up. From this distance, you can’t even tall he’s slightly cross-eyed. YAY! And I’m glad he took out the cornrows.

Anyway, this is Jesus’s life. He’s in Rio hangin’ at the beach while mom his girlfriend is working all over, directing and screenwriting W.E. (her film about Wallis Simpson, the Duchess of Windsor) and giving the British people a tremendous amount of angst. Apparently, Madonna has set her sights on the dear departed Queen Mum, Queen Elizabeth (the widow of King George VI and mother of the current QE II). According to sources close to production on W.E., the Queen Mum is sort of the villain in Madonna’s story. Yikes. That’s not the way to make friends with the aristocrats, Madge! Here she is, being a “director” the other day:

Jesus Luz in Rio on Sept. 2, 2010. Madge on August 30, 2010. Credit: Fame.

The Crackhead has her license back, and we‘ve been warning you LA bitches to stay out of her way. Actually, scratch that, I have no idea if she actually has her license back or if she just thinks she’s allowed to drive now, in her crack-addled mind. In the less than two weeks that Lindsay has been out of her jail & rehab, she’s already been stopped by the cops once for failing to stop for a stop sign, and she’s already been back to her crackhead haunts like the Chateau Marmont. So what was next on Lindsay’s agenda? Some typical crack shenanigans - like hitting a baby. Lindsay was ALLEGEDLY driving her fancy Maserati when she was too crackheaded to LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE TURNING ON A RED. And thus, Lindsay hit a stroller that was carrying a baby. Radar has video of what happened afterward - the nanny (I’m assuming) pushing the stroller and the baby crying and people asking the woman if she was okay. And Lindsay’s Maserati driving off in the background. The video is here, and here’s Radar’s report on the incident:

Lindsay Lohan clipped a stroller holding a baby while driving her high-powered Maserati, two eyewitnesses to the incident exclusively tell RadarOnline.com. The two onlookers identified the Mean Girls star in her West Hollywood neighborhood around 5pm Wednesday, when she accidentally hit the woman and child after failing to look both ways before turning.

“There was a woman pushing a kid in the stroller, maybe a two or three-year-old, crossing the street,” witness Brayan Jaime told RadarOnline.com, in an exclusive interview.

“Lindsay took the red light and hit the stroller. It wasn’t super hard, but she made impact and hit them,” Jaime said. “Lindsay pulled to the right, stopped for two seconds, and then just kept going.”

RadarOnline.com has also obtained exclusive video taken just moments after the incident occurred in which Lohan’s luxury Maserati can be seen speeding away. At the same time, the child can be heard crying in the stroller. The woman in the video is seen looking back at Lohan’s car in disbelief as she continues to cross the street.

“I’m 100 per cent sure Lindsay was driving because I saw her with my own eyes,” Jaime told RadarOnline.com. “I asked the kid if she was okay and then asked the woman, but she was kind of shocked and didn’t really know what to say and you could tell she was scared.”

Jaime claims Lohan came out of the parking garage quickly, making only a brief pause at the red light instead of a full stop. A second witness at the scene told RadarOnline.com that the impact was minimal, so it’s possible Lohan didn’t realize it happened. Nonetheless, he insists contact was made.

“She was just driving like crazy once I started following her. She was trying to lose me, blowing stop signs and stuff,” Jaime said, who followed Lohan after being stunned at what he saw. “Lindsay was scared because she knew I saw what she did.”

But the incident doesn’t seem to have registered with Lohan, who was released from a court ordered rehab and jail sentence last month. When contacted for comment, she told RadarOnline.com, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

[From Radar]

A hit and run on a baby. This is terrible. Even if you’re pretty sure that you just “bumped” someone (especially if it’s a stroller carrying a BABY), you get out of your car and ask “Are you okay?” Beyond that, you LOOK BOTH WAYS, CRACKHEAD. Seriously, I hope this is not the end of the story. I hope they track down the nanny and the baby. I hope the cops are called. I hope there are international headlines crying “LOHAN HITS BABY, IS A CRACKHEAD.”