Julie Bowen in a bikini

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Here's Modern Family star Julie Bowen in Hawaii on Sunday, and this is a woman who should probably remained fully clothed. No, really, up until I saw these, I was under the impression Julie Bowen was smoking hot. Turns... ...read full story


Madonna demands the loins of Gerard Butler

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Seen here summoning a legion of harpies at Carnaval a few weeks back, Madonna is still on the hunt for Gerard Butler's elephant spear, according to Hollywood Life: Gerard attended a private bash that Madge, Demi Moore and producer... ...read full story


Katherine Heigl has access to hair dye and other news

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- Jake Gyllenhaal and Rachel McAdams: An Argument for McJakey. [Lainey Gossip] - Anderson Cooper to Jessica Simpson: "Bitch, I will cut you." [Dlisted] - Barbara Walters thinks she killed Ricky Martin's career. [PopEater] - Kelly Ripa keeps her... ...read full story


Jeremy Renner ‘was’ a badass in my book

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Jeremy Renner apparently is not fondling Jessica Simpson's breasts while wearing a bomb suit, according to Us Magazine: But Renner - who brought his mom to the Oscars Sunday - told UsMagazine.com Sunday at the Governor's Ball that he... ...read full story


Lindsay Lohan claims she’s E-Trade baby and somehow just like Madonna

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Because not all cokedealers accept blowjobs, Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for $100 million over a Super Bowl ad featuring a "milkaholic" baby named Lindsay (after the jump). The New York Post reports: The ad -- part of a... ...read full story


Heidi Montag’s Fake Tits: A Ron Howard Film

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Heidi Montag spoofs the body science gave her in a new Funny or Die video inexplicably directed by Ron Howard. I say inexplicably because the man's a legendary director and could've easily got away with advocating credit card reform... ...read full story


There’s no f-cking way.

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Somehow Tila Tequila was invited to a gifting room suite for the Oscars on Sunday and every con artist knows nothing gets free tchotchkes like a fake pregnancy. Sure she appears to be showing and is a little fatter... ...read full story


Alessandra Ambrosio stretching in a bikini is not the Oscars

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As the world focuses its attention on last night's Academy Awards, it's comforting to know supermodels are still out there stretching and standing in the ocean. In a way, they're almost like The Hurt Locker, but with less war-fighting... ...read full story


The 82nd Annual Academy Awards

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And now for the final roundup where I just give everybody nicknames because if I see another red carpet photo I'm 90% positive I'll literally shit an Oscar statue. Butt-gantor and her faithful sidekick, Picante Bones Alotta Fagina PieTrap... ...read full story


OSCARS: Charlize Theron brought to you by Pillsbury

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Here's Charlize Theron at the Oscars last night and, look, I'm no fashion expert. But if that dress was designed to make me sexually assault a Cinnabon, mission double-accomplished. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm no longer welcome at... ...read full story